Looking Back…
While everyone’s excited about the new year and the coming top animals (I have some of my own speculations), I thought we should take a moment to slow down and appreciate what animals were great in 2009. If you have an animal that you wish would have been in the list, please leave a comment.

Top Animal #9: parakeet

In retrospect, it’s easy to see that 2007 and 2008 were just lead-ups to a great year for parakeets, but let’s face it, nobody saw this coming. Parakeets had a stupendous year of chewing on wood and scurrying around tiny cages. This was the year that parakeets really became the “Above Ground Canaries.” Unfortunately, they made a lot of noise this year and that’s why they’re positioned at #9.

Top Animal #8: lion

We love the lion. Always the same. The lion is the king of the jungle, and like most kings, they’re inbred. Lions did a great job this year of getting the birth defects we all wish we had the guts to get.

Top Animal #7: kangaroo

What is there to say about the kangaroo that you don’t already know. Definitely, in 2009 kangaroos are the animal everyone knows, but has never seen in person. Pouch, jumping, boxing, barbecuing, tail. Forget about it. Super animal this year.

Top Animal #6: chimpanzee

Though a famous chimp and child lover died this year, chimpanzees made it work. As usual, they snuck in as monkeys, then as if to say, “Look, no tail!” they had no tails.

Top Animal #5: deer

What animal can total your car and kill you, but can also be hunted using a flashlight and a hammer? Deer ‘09.

Top Animal #4: dolphin

Where to start? Dolphins in 2009? Wow! Right from the start of the year, it seemed like dolphins really knew what they were doing. They had the slippery skin and that compelling cuteness as always, but they had something new, something better. Scientists can’t figure it out — hence, not much dolphin news this year. That “it” factor is what made the dolphin’s 2009 a breakthrough. I had to put them on the list this year because they did great and plus, they might all be dead next year.

Top Animal #3: Snow leopard

I want to be clear. Snow leopards sucked this year. They did nothing good. They even killed a bunny. Luckily for them, Mac named a new OS after them. I would have put them at #4, but people would complain in the comments.

Top Animal #2: Rat

Rats really rate this year. The surprising recognizability of the rat has infested our minds and made a trashnest in our hearts. Rats could wallow in #2 for decades just based on the number of things that are called “rats with wings” ( bats, pigeons, seagulls, angels, US Air, Hooters, crows, etc.)

Top Animal #1: Human

I know the flack I’m going to get for this one, but humans are not in the number one position because of my own humanity or that of most of my family members. Humans are just the best. They moved all over the globe this year. It seems like they were involved in every news article somehow this year, and they even made it on MTV.

Wrap up…

So there you have it, we were all really surprised with how this year turned out for animals.

Thoughts and predictions – 2010

It just so happens that next year is 2010. After one year of making these lists, the one thing I’ve learned about animal popularity, is it is something you can’t learn. I don’t want to risk humiliation next year by putting up some pompous predictions only to be proven wrong in 366 days. I’ll only make one guess. Geese. I think the phrase for the coming year will be “What does that goose think he’s doing?”

Geese don’t have PR, they don’t have lobbyists, they just have themselves and they do messed up things to confuse us all.

---

Juggling is a really good exercise for life. It has a lot of the fun parts of a soul sport (working to better yourself, non-competitive activity, etc.) but isn’t dangerous — unless you’re juggling fire or pancakes or something. That’s why I want everyone to learn. I’m offering juggling classes in Hollywood (free for your first class) and an inexpensive (and most helpful) DVD because I want the world to juggle.

I’m sure juggling’s not a cure-all like alcohol, but it does a great job with the following 8 thingies: (more…)

here’s a turkey i drew on an (more…)

The California State Fair is a lot like a Clint Eastwood movie. People are squinting, there’s dehydration, and hangings are eminent.

I was performing there 3 or 4 shows per day every day in my friend Frank Olivier’s Show as well as 1 time per day in the demo kitchen area (where chefs are showing the public the obsolete activity of cooking). 62 Frank Shows + 18 kitchen shows = 80 shows in 18 days.

The Good
The shows in the demo kitchen were great. I was introduced by (more…)

I’ve gotta be able to think of something. Posting something on this blog about comedy or something. here it is…  I’m going to write about LA comedy life and spike it with some jokes so it’s more fun to read.

I saw shamu giving birth to a baby whale when I was a kid at sea world.  I thought this was a beautiful thing and a sign that they were treating the whales really well.  Then, I saw the show with freakin’ flaming hoop jumping and voluntary beaching of themselves.  These whales even let a tasty child, pet their tongues.  Then, I realized they could teach whales anything.  “Baby whale, you swim inside the mother, bite a blood capsule, and Mamma, you push it out.” They prolly did that miracle of birth routine 7 times a day. It was prolly a dwarf whale.

Been going to a lot of standup shows and let me tell you, I feel sorry for the audiences most of the time.  Why do people come to these shows?  They’re irritating.  A bunch of comedians gathering on a stage to spit into a mic about how sucky their comedian lives are.

Girls like to dress up like cats to be sexy, but this is crazy.  Cats are not hot. I have never heard of a single human doing sex to a feline.  Ladies, if you want to arouse men, try dressing up like a woman… or a horse, or a sheep, or a cantaloupe… or a jar of peanut butter, or a fist.  You’ll find love in my home. (more…)

Since it’s spooky time, I thought it would be a good season to bring up an audio track that has risen from the dead.  This is an mp3 of interstitial I made for a performance at garage comedy in LA.  I was to come out on stage as a loser radio DJ as if I were on location and broadcasting live from the show.

The idea was that these little things would play when I came on and tell the story that I work for an arrogant radio station. I had forgotten that the sound guy is horrible at that show. He didn’t play them at the right time or volume.  I needed the sound stuff to work for my parody to work.  It really hurt to subject a crowd to that, but it’s a free show and mostly for comedians, so oh well.  You can listen to the tracks below.

KRAJ Radio Interstitials

enjoy

---

“… and Scot Nery, the pancake juggler, whose surefire jokes as well as juggling skills made him a clear crowd fave!”

– OregonLive.com

That’s right, mama. I went to Portland, OR, and showed them how comedy is cooked.  Had a great comedic time in the beautiful city playing comedy-rich kickball.  Thank you to every comedy fan who came out to laugh and yell at me ( the comic ) and drink and yell comical phrases at me about drinking.

I had fun like a kid.

Go Get Yours »

Got my pancake shirts in and ready to get them out to you. If you want an “I (heart) PANCAKES” tshirt, I’m dishin’ them out for only $15 $10 (INCLUDING SHIPPING!!?!) for a little while to get them out to the people that need them. (more…)

** EDIT: I’M CONFIRMED TO PERFORM AT MORE TOUR DE FAT SHOWS. SEE THE SCHEDULE BELOW

Yo! I performed my pan-caca at the Tour De Fat, Chicago. It was the first date on their tour and I loved it. The people and the festival were a total blast. There was a giant bike parade. A bunch of people promised to bicycle more and one guy traded in his car for a really nice 1 of 12 tour de fat cruiser.

Tour de fat is put on by the people that make… (more…)

Hey, I did contortion in the national ad for ExpressJet. You can see the ExpressJet commercial online at “TV: Kiss” on expressjet.com . To see more of my contortion and commercial work, check in to my stuntgood.com

If they give me a copy of the commercial, I’ll upload an HD version for y’all to view. There’s also another contortionist in this ad. Bonnie Morgan is doing flips on a trampoline.