The Los Angeles County Fair is the biggest county fair in the world — don’t tell India, or they’ll probably start creating counties. The fair is a fun place for families to go, eat some burgers, watch cows being born and shout “You suck!” at the pancake juggler. It was all in good fun ( is there bad fun? ) as their chorus of descent ricocheted off my hardened ego, echoing back insults which were sharper, more individualized and funnier.
People like to be insulted. I figure it’s linked to the human need for either truth or discipline which pull them into all kinds of punishment in the military, religion and leather fetish. Our parents always told us that they were being honest and restrictive because they loved us. Then, later, after life is a habit and these ideas are ingrained, we start to realize that our parents were complete sado masticistic fools raising us in a pool of guilt of lack of accomplishment.
The people who spend enough time away from the family unit have the space to realize that the idealized love of acceptance doesn’t mesh with unsolicited discipline and forced submission. The others are the people who get married or in serious relationships before age 30. They don’t have time to figure out how twisted their upbringings were or figure out their own methods. They are forced to embrace what they know and go with it. If they call their parents fools at that point, they’d be calling themselves fools. Suddenly, Mom and Dad were amazing parents.
I love my parents. No matter who they are. They tried to be loving and helpful and supportive the way they knew it, but I am proof that they didn’t know what they were doing. *There I go insulting myself*
And, back to the shows. The shows were fun. I insulted lots of people, they tried to insult me. It was like college again for the first time.
One thing that wasn’t really an insult… There was a quiet little girl in the front row sitting legs crossed very politely. A woman – you could tell she was drunk from the clothes and the curled cowboy hat she was wearing – came up and nuzzled with the girl. Baby talk and “I haven’t seen you in so long. I missed you.” Kisses on the cheek. The girl looked embarrassed. I grabbed a knife, “Step away from the girl. Leave the girl alone. You are not her type.” Eventually, her ex-sorority sister ( I imagine ) realized that it was disturbing the show and pulled her friend back. I asked the little girl jokingly, “Did you even know that woman?” she shyly shook her head. ha ha ha.
Hats like this are used by the police to find drunks
I don’t really remember all the insults I threw, but I do remember one 7 year old kid who kept saying stupid stuff to me and I said “do you know why your parents let you do anything you want? Because they don’t want you to live.”
He pouted “That’s not funny…. My dad is dead.”
Man, that took like 10 seconds to get the crowd back. We all “ahhh.” Then I, “Back to the show!”
Those people were cold. I figure they all understood. They were all with me. If it takes a community to raise a child, raising a child is really inefficient.